Vignettes
by Niu Shiy-Ue
Summary: What would you give up for the peace of the world?A series of vignettes on relationships Completed 4/15/02
1. Heartbreak

Vignettes:Heartbreak  
Disclaimer: You already have my money.  
Author's note: This takes place sometime during the first war. This is my  
first fic, so it will clear up later.  
  
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"Just my luck" Quatre muttered. He was standing on the docks of old San  
Francisco, staring at the cold wet rain. Despite the technological abilites that  
enabled man to live in space, he still could not accurately predict the  
weather, thus Quatre's currently soaked to the bone and chilled to a nice  
shade of pale blue state. So much for the nice sunny day the forecasters  
had predicted. "Fits my mood perfectly."  
"I'm sorry I'm late." A soft voice whispered. He didn't need to turn  
around to know who it was. "I suppose, subconciously, I wanted to put off  
doing this for as long as possible."  
"Me too. Miss Relena."  
He was already retreating into formality, she thought as her eyes filled  
with tears. Relena sighed, then reached out and embraced him. Quatre  
turned around and embraced her back. "Why does this have to be so hard?"  
he sobbed into her neck. "Why do we have to do this at all?"  
Relena tightened her arms around him. Ever since his stay in the  
Sank Kingdom, the two of them had a type of relationship, based on mutual  
understanding. She didn't want to give it up, but . . . "We both know it's  
necessary. To prevent war . . ."  
"One must neutralize the weapons."  
"The world needs us. They need us. More than we need each other."   
Quatre pulled back, looking at her with tear-filled eyes. "Yes, I understand."  
he said.  
"I'll always love you. Only you."  
"Te amo semper."  
"I'll miss this, Quatre."  
Unable to contain herself, Relena kissed him, sad, desperate, futile. A  
parting kiss for two who would forever be apart, through thier own choice.   
When they finally broke, Quatre looked at her. "And so will I. And so will I." 


	2. Homecoming

_Vignettes: Homecoming_  
Disclaimer: Not Mmmiiinnneee!!!  
Author's Note: Takes place directly after _Heartbreak_  
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Trowa looked out from the hotel the ex-Gundam pilots were staying at and worried. Quatre had gone out that afternoon just before the rain had started, and he hadn't come back yet. ~I wonder if he's alright?~ he mused. He turned back towards the window as his thoughts took a darker turn. ~I wonder if he's still on his date with Relena.~ He felt his heart clench with a familiar old pain.  
  
~I don't have a chance with him. He's too good for me. I shouldn't even be thinking about him this way.~  
  
His mind argued back and forth with itself.  
  
~What could he possibly see in her?~  
  
~All this time . . . Ever since he stayed at Sank with Hiiro~  
  
~But I thought she loved Hiiro!~  
  
~Yet they're so happy together . . .~  
  
~Can't she see how much Hiiro needs her?~  
  
~What could I possibly offer him? She has wealth, power, beauty; I'm just Nanashi.~  
  
~Still, I can't help feeling . . . connected to him. I thought he felt it too.~  
  
The sound of the door to his and Quatre's room opening drew him from his internal monologue. "Quatre" he said, turning around to face his partner. He was shocked at how bad he looked, soaked to the bone, shivering, with a look of despair on his face. "What happened to you?"  
Quatre turned away a little. He made his way over to his bed and all but collapsed onto it. "Nothing. Nothing happened."  
Trowa frowned. He pulled a towel from the hotel closet and wrapped it around Quatre's shaking form. Then he knelt down in front of Quatre. "You're not a very good liar. What happened?" Quatre looked up at him with watery blue eyes. "I'm your friend, Quatre." ~I wish I was more~ "You can tell me anything."  
Quatre took a deep breath. "Relena and I . . . w-we broke up." He began sobbing. Trowa immediatly sat beside him and wrapped him in a warm hug. "Shh, now it's alright." he whispered. "You're not alone."  
  
~Maybe I do have a chance~ 


	3. Conversations

_Conversations_  
Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing, would I be writing fanfiction for it? I don't think so! Stupid company has all my money already . . . sue me and get my dirty socks!  
Author's Note: Takes place during _Homecoming_  
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"Quatre's back."  
"I heard."  
"He's crying."  
"I heard."  
"Fuck it 'Fei, don't you care at all!"  
"Barton will take care of it."  
"But . . . Dammit, Trowa's part of the problem!"  
"Winner knows what he's doing."  
"Don't you mean Trowa knows what he wants? Aren't you afraid he might take advantage of him in this state?"  
"Dorlian knows what she's doing too."  
"What the HELL does Relena have to do with this conversation!?!"  
"They broke up."  
"Yeah and fuck her, first Hiiro, now Q-man. That girl's got some seriously bad karma coming to her."  
"She never played anyone Duo."  
"Now you're defending her-"  
"She never loved Yuy."  
"Then why-"  
"All the chasing and running around? Hiiro is just as instrumental to peace as she is. She couldn't allow him to kill himself."  
"What about the time-"  
"She was depressed. She didn't want to face her responsibilities at the time. She truly wanted to die at that point."  
"What about Quatre? If she l-loved him why did she break his heart?"  
"It was mutual."  
"What do you mean?"  
"They can't fight thier fate anymore."  
"What the fuck does this have anything to do with Fate?"  
"You just don't see it, do you Maxwell?"  
"See what?!? Stop talking in riddles!"  
"Winner and Dorlian are simply fufilling thier duties to maintain the peace."  
"I don't understand. They're not getting married . . ."  
"Marriage never stopped wars from occuring. They actually increased the conflict. Much more sensible for ordinary people from the Earth and the colonies marry. It's easy to fight people who you don't see as human."  
"So . . ."  
"What causes war?"  
"I don't know. Fuckin' stupid anyway."  
"Religion. Wealth. Fear. Ambition. Once you have a reason, all you need to do is dehumanize the enemy and the attacks just start breaking out."  
"What does that have to with anything we've been talking about?"  
"Of course, no matter how the war starts, you need weapons to win it."  
"And?"  
"Do you know what Barton and Yuy are?"  
"Yeah, seriously screwed up."  
"The last two wars, we only won them because we had the Gundams, right?"  
"I guess so. But it wasn't just the Gundams, it was the pilots too."  
"What's left for Barton and Yuy now that the war's over?"  
"We-ell I don't know. I mean, Tro's got his sister, and Hiiro's not really that bad, he could learn more than just . . ."  
"You're starting to get it. In thier own way, Barton and Yuy are weapons too. Yuy's been trained since he could walk how to kill, how to fufill a mission. Barton has not had Yuy's formal training, but has grown up in an equally, how shall I say it, challenging enviroment."  
"But Hiiro and Trowa have no reason to break the peace."  
"Nor do they have any reason to keep it. Why should Hiiro bother to learn new skills if the war could restart at any moment? I'm not even sure if Barton has a life beyond the war."  
"Uh-"  
"The rest of us are different, we all have reasons to keep living. Une, she has Marimaya. Sally, Noin and I, we have the Preventers. You and Hilde have a life together-"  
"Not like that 'Fei."  
"Catalonia's on a journey of self-discovery. Dorlian, Noventa and Winner all live to keep the peace between the Colonies and the Earth. But Yuy and Barton . . ."  
"Hiiro's not that bad."  
"Yes, maybe Yuy is the only one of us with the strength to stand alone in the changing world, but he shouldn't have to."  
"Life ain't fair 'Fei."  
"Nor is there a need to take needless risks."  
"This'll kill them."  
". . .?"  
"Thier souls. Wufei, they love each other, but they're going to sacrifice they're own happiness to-"  
"To heal two hurt people and give them a reason to live."  
"They're so alone."  
"I've been in thier shoes. It's not comfortable."  
"You goin' to bed 'Fei?"  
"Yes"  
"Wufei?"  
"Hn?"  
"I don't want to be alone."  
"I'll stay with you Duo." 


	4. Bittersweet

_Bittersweet Lie_  
Disclaimer: This is the 4th in the series, if you still think I own Gundam Wing, you need serious help.  
Author's Note: Hiiro POV  
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It's a ritual I'm very familiar with.  
I climb the tree and jump to her balcony (the tree is only 10 ft. from her balcony, an easy leap). The French doors are already open, but she is still sitting at her vanity, combing her long blonde hair. She watches me approach through her mirror, like predator and prey.  
Except I'm the prey; she's arrranged this encounter as surely as Dorothy arranges a battleplan or quatre a corporate takeover. "Relena" I whisper.  
"Hiiro"  
  
I wonder what she sees as we do this. Does she see me, does she see how much i love her? Or does she see _him_? Whose glue eyes does she want to stare into? Is that why she always closes her eyes? Does she wish to see alabster skin, golden hair, an angelic countenence? Is that why she never speaks, is she afraid that she would call out the wrong name?  
I have to remind myself, that she's mine. _I'm_ the one here with her, commiting this act, not _him_. She belongs to _me_.  
But I would give anything to know that in her mind, her heart there is only me.  
  
We finish and I hold her closely. I want her to look at me, to love me the way I love her. I hold her and I whisper softly, "Ai Shiteru, Relena."  
She opens her eyes and looks at me, and in them I see the truth. "I love you." she whispers. She does not say who, does not reveal the secrets of her soul, but I know where her heart lies.  
"I love you." It's a bittersweet lie, but it's all I have. 


	5. Niveum Matrimonium

_Niveum Matrimonium_  
Disclaimer: This is the fifth and final installment on the series. If you still believe I own Gundam Wing, you should do two things. First, send me money 'cause I'm flat broke and am not making money off this and second see a shrink. But only see the shrink after you send me money.  
Author's Note: Last in series, from Dorothy's POV, some religious references. Yellow roses can be a sign of either friendship, jealousy or infidelity. Here it can be all three. The quote in the middle is from William Shakespeare. The second is from Lord Tennyson. Une's and Marimeia's outfits are appropriate for the Victorian half-mourning period. Niveum Matrimonium means 'white wedding' in Latin.  
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"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and women in the sacred ceremony of holy matrimony." If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a funeral, rather than a wedding.  
  
"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven." Oh, it's got all the trappings, bride in a white dress (hardly a virgin, but who would dare accuse the Queen of the World of participating in extra-marital sex), lovely bouquet (yellow roses, how unsubtly ironic), a priest (he doesn't look too happy at being held at gunpoint, not that you can actually see Duo's hand from the front, but you know it's there), elegant music (recorded, we didn't want a lot of photographers in what should have been a world-reknown event), it even has a groom (whom we didn't have to drag out of the bathroom, of course why should the Perfect Soldier Hiiro Yuy worry about his own wedding). Of course most weddings don't have most of the guests in mourning, and usually the best man isn't more oblivious than a corpse to the tense atmosphere. Oh, excuse me, I mean duo corporum, can't forget the bridesmaid too.  
  
"Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen." Speaking of Duo he'd best keep paying attention to that priest, otherwise that priest is going to bolt like a bat out of hell as soon as the ceremony is over, and we still need to pay him. Even if the priest doesn't bolt, the glare that Duo's giving Trowa would freeze a nuclear explosion; I'm surprised our dear oblivious Barton hasn't frozen to death yet. Of course, Providence protects animals, children and fools, and Trowa certainly isn't the two former. But if he's not careful, dear Mr. Barton and Ms. Bloom are going to realize that something is off, and then all our hard work will be for naught.  
  
"If anyone here knows any just cause that these two should not be lawfully wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." What a sweet line, if we were in a movie, this is where Relena's knight in shining armour comes to declare his love for her and sweep her off into the sunset. Except, her knight in shining armour (Gundanium magnum purum) has already declared his love for her and is standing by her side at the alter. Does it hurt, Quatre, to watch the one you love marry another, knowing that she'd give it all up, if you just asked her to? Does it hurt, Relena, to be willing to throw the world aside if you could just marry your true love? Does it hurt knowing that both of you would give up anything to be with each other, that if the other would just say the word, you could end this farce, but also knowing that you are both too kind, too dedicated to the world to ever say it?  
  
"So they lov'd as love in twain  
Had the essence but in one,  
Two distinct, divisions none" Iuncta cum bello, sic iuncta cum pace. At least, that is what we must make the world believe. And for such a futile reason. War is an endless waltz, it may pause in beat for a generation or two, but in the end, it will prevail. The very process of evolution that created us was founded on the conflict of survival. Peace is the very antithesis of nature.  
  
"The rings, please." For whom doth the bell toll? 'Tis not a bell, but rather the sound of iron band cast, and it doth ring for many, not one alone.  
  
"Do you, Relena Darlian, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, for better or for worse, as long as you both shall live?" Do you, Princess Peacecraft, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for the sake of your love of the world, although your heart sickens with longing for another, for better or for worse, a bond inescapable for as long as you both shall live?  
  
"I do" Of course. How hard is it not to say no? To not run down the aisle and leave this carefully coordinated lie? To be cut off from happiness and by your own words as well? At this one moment, I think you're stronger than I will ever be.  
  
"Do you, Hiiro Yuy, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, for better or for worse, as long as you both shall live?" Do you, the Perfect Soldier, take this woman to be the sheath for your aggressions, to love her despite her own love for one of your best friends, to protect her from all but the responsibilities that forced her to wed you, for better or for worse, a lie that will continue as long as you both shall live?  
  
"I do" And with two words you make her yours for eternity. Even in this gloomy atmosphere you must feel some delight at having finally achieved your goal. Ninmu kanryou.  
  
"I know not if I know what true love is,  
But if I know, then, if I love not him,  
I know there is none other I can love" I look around. The funereal mentality is not isolated to the wedding party itself, but extends to all the guests. I look over each familiar face again, and try to place the emotions that I see displayed. Try to understand the history behind the expressions. Easiest, of course, are that of Ms. Bloom and Mr. Barton. Thier smiling (at least in Ms. Bloom's case) faces reveal nothing but joy at the proceedings. Truly a case of ignorance being bliss. The matrimonial couple, they too seem happy. It just would not do for the 'happy' couple to display thier true feelings, they must have the most impeccable masks in place.   
  
Wufei, impassive, on the other hand he was the first to notice that something was wrong and has had the longest to construct his mask. He and Hilde are studies in opposition. She appears to blame Barton, the same way Duo does. No surprise, since Duo is the most likely source for her information. Together, well, this may yet turn into the funeral it resembles. I know that Duo and Wufei were together for a brief time after the war. I wonder if the three of them are reminded of thier own past history, watching this darker version of thier drama play out. Quatre, on the other hand, is not even bothering to hide his tears. I am sure he has the perfect excuse for his oblivious lover. If only the rest of us could be so honest about our feelings.   
  
I next turn to Sally Po, Zechs Merquise and Lucrezia Noin. Really, I must admire thier restraint. The true situation has been an open secret among the Preventers since the wedding preparations were first being made. How Milliard Peacecraft manages to keep from murdering Yuy where he stands and keep such a solenm face; it must take a remarkable amount of strength. The same strength that Relena shows in going through this farce. Noin is quietly crying while Sally comforts her. Noin is such a good confidante to both Quatre and Relena, moreso than even I. Witnessing her friends go through with this must break her heart. And it must be the same for Sally, watching her lover suffer the pain of losing her friends to thier own dedication. On the other side, Sylvia Noventa looks so cold. In a way, she is like Quatre, watching the one she loves get married. Except, Hiiro does not realize that she loves him. I am unsure who is worse off between them. To love and lose without being loved in return, or to love and lose one's love to another while still being loved.   
  
Finally I observe Une and Marimeia. I should give my cousin more credit, she figured it out even as we tried to hide the tension from her. They appear to be in mourning as well. Nothing so crude as open tears, or wearing black. The delicate violets embroidered on Marimeia's dress are quite tastefull, as is her amethyst jewelry. Une looks absolutely gorgeous in her pearls and white gloves. And her hat is quite similar to one worn for say, the Ascot, with it's high arching white ostrich feather.  
  
"I now pronounce you husband and wife." Finally it is over. As we file out, I spare a last glance at the newlyweds. I silently congratulate myself for avoiding their tragedy. Yet, thinking back over the dedication and strength I have seen today, the old adage worries at my mind, 'Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all' and I wonder who truly is the better off of all who are here today.  
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Wooh, it's done! I really shouldn't say this, but I actually found this sort of funny. Says something about my mental state I suppose. Anyway, comments, critiques, you know where to put them. Oh, and I have no plans for a sequal at this time, but I might be convinced, given enough reasons . . .  
Anyway, it's late, I'm starting to feel the effects of sleep deprivation, and I really should be signing off. Next up is hopefully some fusions with the original story of Beauty and the Beast. NB: The original, not the washed up version produced by Disney. 


End file.
